A Parent's Reward
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My aunt and I volunteer at the same nursing home; the other day, we were talking about the old folks who don’t ever have any family visiting them.
“It’s so sad when you spend all these years raising children and they don’t even visit you once a year,” I mused.
“Not necessarily,” replied my aunt, who has two sons and a granddaughter. “You can’t go into parenting expecting your kids to pay you back down the road. Chinese people talk about filial piety, but I don't think it should be a given. Then what’s the reward for being a parent, you ask? Well, look at your son. (He had fallen asleep in the middle of dinner, his head slouched against the high chair). Look how cute he is right now. The here-and-now of these little moments - that’s your reward.”
Her words made me think about my own parents: how they let me go to school in a different country to give me the best opportunities even if they knew I might never come back; how they don’t begrudge me for raising their grandkids far away from them and only visiting them once a year; how they continue to offer us help and gifts that they know we don’t have the ability to repay. It makes me feel a strong sense of filial piety for them not out of obligation but out of gratitude.
I hope that I can always be selfless enough to give my children what’s best for them even if it means stepping out of the picture. And my aunt is right - there isn’t anything particular that Lil’ Cub needs to do for me. He’s made my world an infinitely better place simply by being.
