What About Daddy?

Earlier this evening, Lil’ Cub started bouncing up and down in his high chair when he heard the jingling of keys at the front door. He stopped chewing and arched his neck towards the dark hallway, his eyes big with anticipation. He let out a little squeal when the door opened and in stepped his main man: Daddy.

It’s not easy being the father of an exclusively breastfed baby. Compared to his wife, he gets 8-10 fewer hours per day to bond with the baby. He can’t participate in the mother-baby nursing/cuddle time, and in the early days, he may struggle to babysit or put the baby to sleep because the child might start screaming for mom and push him away when he tries to offer a bottle. When grandparents are constantly hovering over the baby, he may feel redundant and unsure about his role as a caretaker. And when he comes home from work all tired, all he wants to do is watch TV or play video games with his baby in his arms, but his wife has set limits on the baby’s screen time because she considers screen viewing too passive and unproductive for infants.

Dads often have to work harder to establish their relationships with their kids, but Lil’ Cub is lucky to have a dad that got down to business from day one. The first day of his life, his Daddy changed all his diapers and rocked him every time he cried because Mommy was too tired to do anything. During the first week, he did almost all of his tummy time on Daddy’s flat, wide chest (great for some skin-on-skin bonding too!). When he started doing tummy time on his mat, Daddy would get down on the floor and do push ups with him until he could no longer hold his little head up. Over the months, the two developed games like shoulder riding mirror peekaboo that Lil’ Cub only likes to play with Daddy (he doesn’t laugh when I try to play the same game). Now that Lil’ Cub is older, Daddy’s become more involved in feeding time and bedtime stories; occasionally, he even gets baby to fall asleep on his shoulder.

The ultimate father-son activity in our house is bath time. Early on, we decided that baths would be an exclusive Daddy responsibility so that he could have a unique way to bond with Lil’ Cub. It’s great because it requires you to be 100% present to your baby (unlike watching TV together where you’re only 50% present), and I find that my husband has the funniest conversations with Lil’ Cub in the bath. Whether he’s narrating the bathing process, telling him about his day at work, chiding him for trying to climb out of the bath, or protesting because he got peed on, it’s always amusing to hear what he has to say behind the door.

Forgive me if I boast, but it’s just been a real joy to watch my husband grow as a father. His partnership has been indispensable, and I wanted to write about it because I think dads often don’t get enough credit. Each dad parents in his own awesome way, but I think the most important thing is to allow him to develop “Daddy only” activities so that he has a defined role and unique way to bond with his kid(s). Here’s to all daddies!

#family