Weaning Part I: The Beginning of a Bittersweet Journey
Before I gave birth, I thought I’d completely wean my baby the time he had teeth. But Lil’ Cub cut his first teeth around 3 months, and I wasn’t ready to discontinue nursing when we were just getting started.
When I started solids at six months, I thought, ok, how about by his first birthday? But then I learned that breast milk remains the main sustenance for babies until they can drink cow’s milk after twelve months, so I decided to keep up with nursing for the first year.
Now, at eight months, I realize that I'm actually quite terrified of weaning. I don't know how to do it. I'm worried about the tantrums that may ensue. I rely on nursing for soothing Lil' Cub and getting him to sleep; what will happen when I no longer have this tool? And what will happen to my body? Will the engorgement be really painful, will my breasts become saggy and skewed, will my metabolism drop from no longer burning 500 calories a day? Will I get sad from the lack of happy hormones (oxytocin), from feeling like my baby no longer needs me? And then there's the finality of it all: it marks the end of a chapter where mom and baby are closer than anybody else in the world.
It would be easiest for both Lil' Cub and my boobs if I let him gradually wean himself. However, from reading other moms’ stories, it seems that if an exclusively nursing mother gives a child complete freedom to self wean, he might choose to nurse till as old as four years old. I even read about tandem nursing, where a child continues nursing after the birth of his sibling!
Personally, I want my son to completely stop nursing by the time he enters preschool and starts forming memories that will stay with him for the rest of his life. While I want him to remember his mom as a source of comfort, I do not want him to have vivid memories of himself sucking on my boobs. People say weaning is easier after 18 months since by then babies are able to understand language and are more independent. Considering this, I’ve decided that my goal is to wean Lil' Cub by 24 months.
In order for this weaning to be successful, I probably will have to gently initiate and guide the process, so just as teachers do “backwards design” in lesson planning, I’m also going to try to map out a plan and timeline based on this goal.
What we’ve been doing so far (6-8 months):
Substituting two previous nursing sessions with two solid meals a day
Learning to drink with straws and sippy cups (he can usually manage 1-2 oz at once)
Goals for 8-12 months:
Continue practicing with straws and sippy cups so Lil’ Cub can drink at least 4 oz of milk from them by 12 months
Increase solid meals from two to three or make meals more substantial
Let others babysit him for longer periods of time so he can learn to self soothe while I'm not around. Get others to try feeding him milk from a bottle or cup (no success with this so far, but practice and consistency are key!)
Goals for after 12 months:
Feed him cow's milk every day
Go out to play more often so he will be distracted and won’t want to nurse as much. I've noticed that he accepts a bottle/cup more readily when we're out, perhaps because he understands that it's not as easy for me to nurse in public
Try new activities to develop new ways to bond with Lil’ Cub
Try out some of these methods to drop a feeding per month till we get to zero
This is just a very loose outline. I really have no idea how it will pan out or how I will feel about it. I’ll write an update in a few months to see how it goes!
